Blow Job Etiquette

Este libro es bastante celebre en nuestro bien amado Chile. Como su nombre lo indica, se refiere a las buenas maneras que debe tener toda persona para no hacer sentir incomodos a otros, asi com tambien para no incomodarse a si mismo, sabiendo como actuar en cada ocasio deacuerdo a lo que dicatan las buenas costumbres...La verdad es que dudo que tenga un capitulo dedicado a la sexualidad, pero en el BLOG DE JENELLY BEAN encontre este manual de comportamiento referente a las practicas amatorias "verbales", if you know what i mean, desde el punto de vista de una mujer. Si no le hace al ingles, querido y ocasional lector, otro dia se lo traduzco

1. First and foremost we are NOT obligated to do it, if you get one be grateful.
2. I don’t care what they did on the porn video; it’s not standard practice
to come on someone’s face.
3. I don’t have to swallow. Did you here me?
4.My ears are not handles.
5. Do not push the top of my head. Last I heard; deep throat had already been done. And… do you really want me to puke on you dick?
6. I don’t care how relaxed you get; it’s NEVER ok to fart.
7.Having my period does not mean that it’s “Hummer Week”. Get it through your head. I’m bloated, I feel like shit, and I’m not obligated to blow you just because you can’t have sex right now.
8. “Blue Balls” might have worked on the girls in high school. If you’re that desperate go jack off and leave me alone with my Midol.
9. If I had to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don’t tell me I just wrecked it for you.
10. Leaving me in bed while you go smoke a cigarette, weed, watch TV etc…is unadvisable if you like repeating performances in the future.
11. If you like how I do it, its best not to speculate on the origin of my talents. Just enjoy the moment and be happy
that we’re good at it. (reread rule # 1)
12. No it doesn’t particularly taste good, and I don’t give a rat ass about protein content.
13. No I will not do it while you play a video game, eat a sandwich, drink, smoke, etc…
14. When your friends complain about the blow-job that they don’t get…keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either brag or sympathize.
15. Just because it’s awake when you get up, doesn’t mean that I have to “kiss it good morning.”